Using ‘and’ statements is a really simple mindset tip to reduce self-criticism, giving you a more balanced view of yourself or a situation.
The idea is that two conflicting things can be true at once. For example, have you ever made a mistake and spiralled into a negative cycle concluding that you’re a bad and undeserving person? If this sounds like you trying the ‘and’ statements could be the tool that you’re looking for.
To create an ‘and’ statement, you simply state something bad about yourself or situation and then add ‘and’ to qualify it with a second statement that puts it into perspective or offers some reassurance.
Below are some examples where ‘and’ statements are put into practice.
Workplace
‘I am a valued member of the team, and I do not need to take on every project.’
‘I made a mistake and I hit my sales target last month.’
‘I am dedicated to my job, and I also need to rest.’
‘I get nervous before meetings, and I’m still in control.’
‘I am capable and knowledgeable, and sometimes I need support.’
Relationships
‘I love spending time with my partner, and I love time alone.’
‘We don’t always have to agree and we always respect each other.’
‘I am a bad wife and I remember his birthday every year’
‘I feel frustrated by my husband, and we can come to a resolution.’
‘I am devoted to my relationship, and I make time to pursue my interests.’
Emotions
‘I experience strong feelings and I know they won’t last long.’
‘I feel negative emotions, and that’s OK and normal.’
‘I feel overwhelmed andI can take a step back if I need to.’
‘My emotions are real and they won’t last forever.’
‘Sometimes things go wrong, and I am working on myself.’
Parenting
‘I’m a bad mum and I get my son to school every day’
‘I enjoy being with my family and sometimes I need a break.’
‘I can’t cook very well and I am good at singing with my children
‘I feel guilty when I can’t balance everything, and I’m trying my best.’
‘I am a capable and confident parent, and sometimes I need support from others.’
‘I shouted at my child, I am a terrible parent and I’m taking her to the cinema next week’
Once you’ve got your head around how to formulate these statements, you’ll probably want to start creating ‘and’ statements that are unique to your own situation. They’re powerful because they balance out self-criticism and make you feel a whole lot better about yourself.
If you’d like to work on increasing your confidence and happiness, book in for a 1-1 coaching session on Zoom or in person in Newcastle.